Sunday, 26 February 2017

Pretending To Be An Adult Being: My Friends And I Don't Have Time For Each Other

Dublin, Ireland


Sweater - Mint Velvet
Skirt - Mint Velvet
Sneakers - Zara
Necklace - Mint Velvet

The fact of the matter is that as you get older things just get in the way and the time you have to spend with the people in your life needs to be prioritised, rationed to the important things first, like family and work. And often after that there's not much left over. 

In the early stages of childhood up to adolescence we spend all our days together with friends in Primary schools from the age of four to ten or eleven. And if you are one of the lucky ones, you probably attended the same secondary school where your friendship either continued to blossom, facing new challenges and growing together or...it didn't and you go your different ways. You meet new people who go from strangers to acquaintances,to friends. You form these new relationships and strengthen old ones based on changing values and growing into your own identities. And before you know it, the school days as you know it or 'the best day of your life' have progressed to their heights and almost everyone is in college, working or both.





I cherish the people I have around me now, the faces have changed over the years and whether or not they know it ( which I suspect they do ) my fiends mean quite a lot to me. And it makes it that little bit hard and even laughable that they don't have time for me and I don't have time for them! How in the heck did we come to this? 

Between their college and part-time jobs, there's not much free time. And with me still, at least for the next two weeks, juggling two jobs that climb up to 60 hours some weeks, there are only the unsociable hour or two between doing one thing and getting ready to do another. A quick catch up in town on an hour break between lectures. 'Lunch?' 'I've half an hour :( '

A Facebook message left unanswered but seen because you opened it to read and within those literally two seconds it took, your 15 mins lunch break is over and there's no time to punch back a worthy reply that isn't 'hahah *insert crying laughing emoji*' The pub Club started to keep everyone in touch has not come together since your what was it..the third? Fourth meeting? Can't have been more than a few months ago since we met up' when in reality it's been over 6 months since your last meet up and even longer since all 'members' were present together. 





And it's not like you don't make plans to see each other, you do. Your group chats with it's open invitations to meet up are followed by a tyranny of overused and also expected 'Can't. Working * insert sad face emoji*' You were meant to go bowling two months ago so your friends could meet your significant other but sure, the supermarket checkout they work at is just as good right? You'll have to catch up on your days off, 'message me and we'll defo meet up.'

Yes, why don't you meet up on your day off? Day off, the term which also loosely translates into day to do weekly shop, day to get expenses in order, day to do laundry, day to call family you haven't spoken to all week, day to clean your never clean room, day to do your college assignment(s) that are due the next day, day to build a rocket ship and blast of to the moon and many more. And if your day off manages to coincide with that of a friends, chances are one of you will have pre-made plans, assignments to do, taxes to claim back, la di da di da. And then sometimes, you just don't want to see anyone. As my friend said to me in a recent Facebook conversation, sometimes you just want to stay in bed all day on that day off and watch Netflix and eat.  





At the end of the day we are all in the same boat so we understand. We do want to see each other, we still care for each other and try to keep on top of our ever changing lives so when you do finally get to meet up, there is always a lot of catching up to do. Laughs to be laughed. You'll get to tell them about the time last week you got into a stranger's car by accident and they'll tell you about the newest hottie on the scene and weave your lives back together in the hippie cloth of a truly good friendship.

For now we will content ourselves with chance meetings on the bus, introductions of boyfriends at checkout counters and SUPER WILD birthday night outs that begin with a 'Safe Sex on The Beach cocktail' and ends with the last bus home at 11:30pm because you are in work the next morning.

In what ways have you tried to deal with bridging the time gap between seeing your friends. We could all benefit from some tip sharing. Let me know below in the comments! 


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2 comments so far

  1. This got me so frustrated, haha! Because it's so true, of the friends I have in my hometown, two are in school (one has a child), and the rest I work with (and are also in school!). It's pretty tough to make plans around all of our schedules because we all work at the same place, and then I'm completely out of touch with university time lines, I never know when midterm exams are coming up... Any other friends have to be, like, Facebook conversations because we live apart.

    But, I find the best bet is usually a chance meeting, saying 'What are you up to this week?' and figuring out a time to spend together. Probably easier said than done, but it's the best I've got, haha!

    Erin | Explore, Refresh

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  2. Ooh this really resonates with me! Met up with one of my best friends last week after only seeing her twice in about a year because we have opposing work schedules and she travels a lot. I literally just want to chill when I'm off and all those mundane "day off" tasks are so time-consuming. Also I can't remember when I last cleaned my room...
    www.joyofblogs.com

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