I know to a lot of people, a 19 year old might as well be a 3 year old and in many respects, I can understand why. I haven't lived much of a life in my short nineteen years, I've lived in two different countries, some people live 6 months at a time in a country but I'd like you to bear with me. Perhaps my fresh eyes of life could remind you of something.
As birthdays and almost all notable occasions do approach, I always try to reflect on the past days, months and years and see what I did, what I learned and what I could do better instead of dwelling on the things I can't change. And this time I thought I'd do a post on the things that I learned and what I want to do better. There are mini challenges as well that I'd love you to join me on,! Keep reading to find out what they are.
7 Lessons From A 19 Y ear Old's Perspective
I remember a quote that reads ' Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere'. It was was one of those picture quotes my father sends me triage of everyday on Whatsapp. Ever since reading this quote, I have always tried to keep it at the forefront of my mind and it has become almost like a mantra that I call upon when things start going pear-shaped.
Worrying has to be the most unproductive and simultaneously productive activity one can undertake. I am a worrier by nature but over the years I have somehow managed to slowly get some control over this part of my life. I still worry about a lot of different things, from global warming to what I'm going to do with my life but the trick is to try and not let it consume you. Because it really doesn't get you anywhere.
2. Stop Over- Analysing
This one kind of goes hand in hand with the worrying. Do you ever just replay a conversation over and over in your head wondering why you said that thing or agonize yourself over whether or not someone took offense to something you said only to find out that the said person(s) hadn't even noticed what you're on about? Yeaah that's me too. All. The. Time. It's unhealthy and definitely something I have been working on for a few years now.
There is no point ovethinking something so much that it puts you in a bad mood because let's face it, no good conclusions are ever drawn from over-analysing anything. It can and has ruined relationships with friends and significant others for me personally and I'm sure some of you too. It's a terrible habit and a hard one to kick but it is definitely a habit worth trying to break.
3. Don't get lost in the flow
Call me strange but you know those 'Just Go With It' 'Live While You're Young' 'YOLO' phrases people seem to throw about to justify bad behavior of their youth and uncalculated risks really pee me off. Not because I don't believe in living the best quality life as one can but because it implies that you do not need to look ahead. A car driving in pitch black on a one way street still has lights to show the way even if the driver can only see a few meters so why should you live your life completely submerged in the dark?
For so long I was afraid of planning ahead for fear of being deemed some control freak who had her whole life plan made. And although at some point I did believe my whole life could be planned somehow, I can see now that I am not married to Paul Rudd or Ian Somerhalder that the future in unwritten. I like knowing what I'm going do with my time within a given period and setting mini goals for myself that help me push out of my comfort zone and towards a better me, friend, daughter and sister.
Don't get me wrong, it is perfectly okay to go with the flow of life and see where it takes you but it's also okay to look up sometimes, there's water in shit too.
4. Your People Will Come
I suspect that this topic is something that affects more people than we let on. I've always been in search of my people. It has not being my one and only priority but it's always there at the back of my mind when I'm in a big crowd or find myself surrounded by new people. I wonder if and when I'll find the people that make me feel at home when I'm around them. The people that have your back no matter what so much so that they become family.
And to some degree when I look around now, I see some of those people around me now. I don't know how many there'll be and I don't know when they'll come but I'm grateful for the ones that are here now and look forward to meeting those on their way.
5. Value your people when you find them
I spoke about this in my last Journal entry in which I wrote a Letter to My Ex-Best- Friend ( here). It is important to be able to see the worth of the people around us. I read a book a few years ago in which the protagonist divided people into two groups, Givers and Takers and that is true in almost every relationship. There will be people who will solely take from you and rarely give back and people whom may be giving a lot to you but receiving very little in return.
Since reading that book I set myself the lifelong challenge, which I now put to you, to try and be both. However you can only do this by knowing the worth of the people in your life mostly so that you can be more of a giver than a taker.
6. It's just in the movies.
Can you think of a movie where the main character gets a makeover and over night turns into a sex symbol that all the girls want to be and all the guys want to be with? I can think of plenty but you may or may not know this ( if you're living under a rock) trying to change or redefine yourself is not a one night's sleep job. It takes time and effort and maybe breaking bad habits and forming new ones.
You probably don't have five girlfriends who have the time to go sit in a dress shop and watch you put on different clothes for them and if you did you probably won't have enough money to hit the shops and buy enough things to walk out looking like Cher from Clueless after one of her retail therapy sessions.
Just take the time to love yourself and get to a place in your life where you can truly be happy with who you are and how far you've come to be where you want to be.
7. Enjoy the good times and stop anticipating the bad
This is probably touching on worrying less and not overthinking again but it's always good to be reminded to have a good time when the good times are there to be had and to stop looking for the bad. This is more of a recent lesson for me and I am really trying hard to enforce it in my life and it'd be great if we could do it together.
* Here's me trying not to worry about the fact that I have seven lessons and seven is an unlucky number. But hey, I'll try not to think about it too much*
What lessons have you learned in your life? I'd love it if you could share it with me!
Till next time my pretties xxx