' The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new' - Socrates.
While talking to a friend a few days back. They shared with me something that touched me profoundly. You see, I've been feeling heavy in both head and heart lately. Deeply troubled, irritable, and irrational. Of course nobody would be able to tell. I'm very good at hiding the slow slipping of my mental state. Very good.
Somehow unknown to them, this friend had answered an age old question that has burdened me for many of my adolescent years. They told me to search my heart, speaking fondly of the help and change they themselves were able to achieve from doing so. I won't lie. I envied their absolution. It made me wonder why I couldn't be like that with myself. Why I couldn't be as open and one with well...me.
It was clear as day. I had to face the man in the mirror or the young terrified girl I was in this case.
I've spent the last few days at war with myself, metaphorically and at times physically needing a way to release my frustration and pent up anger and pity and the overwhelming volume of emotions I have so long ignored and harbored deep deep deep down in the dark abyss of my tired heart.
You might have noticed there is no about me section on this blog. Why? I'm still figuring me out. I've lived the lives of so many different people that I'm still learning who I am and who I really want to be but in order to do that I need to stop reliving my past mistakes and move on. I need to confront myself.
As a result, I'll be doing a Skin Deep series featuring personal insights into my life, my story, me. Why you ask? Beauty is skin deep. It's not just taking people at face value. It's all that they are and do and were and are yet to become.
I feel a change in me. I feel like I'm growing, I'm discovering. I'm learning. I'm facing the old and putting it to rest, for good this time so I can move on and focus on change and I would love nothing more than to share this with you all, my now friends, my past friends, the friends I'm yet to meet ( that's you reading this ;) ) and yes even all my enemies, not that I have many to my knowledge. All are welcome.
Till next time my pretties xxx
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