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Sunday, 10 May 2020

How I Set A Routine

Dublin, Ireland
In my last post I mentioned that I may share how I set out my routines in another post. Well...this is that. I just want to say, what I'm sharing is just a method that works for me. You may need to take this and build on it or make up your own to suit you and how you work. If anything, let this me a motivator to do something for you.

 I am a creature of habit. Don't get me wrong, I love adventures and being spontaneous when I feel like it. However, I appreciate the stability and familiarity of having a structure. I also accomplish more when I don't give myself the opportunity to overthink things.

If you know me, or have read this blog long enough, you might be thinking, how can you say you like spontaneity when you use 15,000+ books and endless lists to keep organized. Firstly, I just love stationery, the lists are just something boring and silly I enjoy doing. Secondly, setting a routine doesn't mean you are sentencing yourself to live a life that is minutely planned out. I find routines to be like the lines that divide lanes in the swimming pool. If you follow the lines you'll know where you're going and where you're coming from. But you can swim across the lanes if you want. 

And routines change for many reasons. For me it is usually to balance out time, energy and desires. The first month of a new semester in college is always different to the last month. I may scale back on work hours to allow myself to reintroduce having to use more brain power in classes or need to invest more time and energy into a personal project I'm really excited about. 

Having a routine doesn't mean I can't do anything else, it's simply my way of reassuring myself that if/when I step away from the routine, I can pick up where I left off. And with quarantine, my routine has changed a lot. And it's about to change again because I've finished all my college assignments and have more free time! So I'll share with you how I went about setting my new routine and give some tips about how I make sure I can stick to them! 

1. What do you want to do?
This is really the most important part of the entire process. I personally like to do this is a brainstorming session. Blank piece of paper and writing down whatever comes to mind. Big or small. 

Before quarantine these usually revolved around wanting to stay on top of college work, staying fit, eating healthy, being creative and sleeping better. My first quarantine routine was set on finishing my assignments, staying fit, eating more plant based meals and lying in the sun. This is what my brainstorm looked like for Quarountine 2.0. 

2. Identify The Patterns
This step is easier that it sounds. You're basically looking at what you wrote down and grouping them together. For example, I would like to work on my core, upper body strength, side glutes and climbing specific training. All of which I grouped into fitness. So you can see above my patterns are fitness, creative, active hobbies, identity and relationships/interpersonal. 

3. Set Frequencies
How often do you want to look at each area each week? How often do you want to look at each element in that area? Again using my fitness as an example you can see what I mean. Bear in mind that with something like fitness you should factor in rest days and make sure you have a good mix of exercises to target different parts of the body directly and indirectly. 

Doing the same thing too much will lean to muscle strain and injury. Which you do not want to happen. I injured my knee when I went from absolutely zero running to pushing myself at a 5K each day for three weeks. Do. Not. Do. This!

4) Write It Down
Draw up a simple schedule for each day of the week. You can see from my schedule that Saturdays and Sundays are super chill. I do most of my productive tasks between 10-2 because I have more energy then. 

Between 2-6 anything goes really but I've a few options to been me busy. And after 6 I don't have anything planned. I usually have Zoom Quiz Nights with different friend groups that'll fall within this time frame. I've had to leave early or not go to some in order to get enough sleep. Generally after 2pm I feel like I've accomplished enough to be lazy for the rest of the day so the things I do are based on what I'll enjoy that day. 

Sometimes I find indicating times helpful and at other times I find it puts me under pressure. With all this quarantine time, I chose to allocate time slots so I can be lazier without having to think too much about what I'm going to do next. 

This is where I usually break out the colours and go crazy. But on this occasion I wasn't feeling that tickled about it. I've been getting up at 6am each day, I know it's crazy. But I've been enjoying it so I haven't changed it. 

5) Just show up
That's it. Show up each day. Really show up with intent and do what you can for you.

Now it's easier said than done. And just because you know have a routine equivalent to Steve Jobs' polo and jeans doesn't mean you go on autopilot. You just get to do more without thinking too much about it. And just to share 3 tips so you can keep at it.

Tips for keeping at it.

1) Change the load. 
It's rare that I'll come to each part of a routine and achieve maximum output each time. I have an even mix of heavy days where I'll have things I want to get done and I'll be super productive. And there are days where I don't put so much on my plate and instead just do the bare minimum to feel like I've achieved something... anything. 

2) Take a chill pill
Just because you said you'd study from 10_2pm doesn't mean you can't take any breaks. I'm a big fan of 45 minutes of work and 15 minutes of YouTube. I've always got fruit and water within reach to try and limit my trips to the kitchen. You are not a machine so don't push yourself like one!

Similarly, if it is 18°C outside...in Ireland, you'd best believe I'll be lying out in the sun doing absolutely nothing. Somedays I try to get through as many videos in my Watch Later playlist as I can. Other days I scroll aimlessly online, read books, lie in bed, watch films and take multiple naps. I find all these things incredibly fun and pleasing so why would I stop myself doing them if I feel like it? 

Like I said, routines allow you to pick up where you left off. But you have to have the discipline to return to it. I learned a trick from Matt D'Avella that actually helps quite a bit with this. He advises that you don't take two days off in a row. I'd usually do a day of nothing, maybe two if I really need it but never three consecutive days. Like Matt, I also found doing nothing multiple days in a row makes it harder to stick to a routine. 

3) Be Compassionate to Yourself
Oftentimes I can be so mean to myself if I am not achieving something I set my heart on. It's like my head and heart turn on each other. Try to be compassionate to yourself in times like these. I like to take quiet time to allow my head and heart to "talk it out". I literally role play being my head and heart and share what I'm thinking or feeling. Then I try to me a friend to myself and tell myself what I'd say if my best friend came to me with those sentiments. It sounds silly but I put it to you to try it. 

There are many other factors that can influence the routines you set for yourself like your general goals in life, your sense of security either personally or financially, and uncontrollable incidents. But this is a simple place to start. I truly think having a system that allows you to address your desires and concerns knowing you are moving forward or staying content where you are is deeply fulfilling. 

What are your thoughts on routines? Let me know in the comments below!

Till Next Time
xxx

Sunday, 3 May 2020

Isolation

Dublin, Ireland
Ireland's lockdown began on Thursday 12th March 2020 and escalated to a complete lockdown on March 27th. Now it's May and we're looking at further weeks of this lockdown. Compared to other countries like Italy, France and Spain we haven't been quarantined so long.

A few weeks ago, it was so sunny I decided to break my routine and go for a walk with a mirror and my camera in the afternoon. If I leave the house it is usually before 7AM or after 8PM to avoid as many people as possible. 

On this day there were so many people in the parks in our 2KM restricted area that it felt like a busy summer's afternoon. Of course everyone was apart and the Gardai (police) were walking around keeping an eye on everyone. I tried to steer clear from as many as possible, partly because I was lying on the ground with a large mirror on my face and partly because well... people.  I recently deleted my photography website. I didn't like the pressure I was placing myself and the unnecessary constant self-shaming for not taking enough pictures. It was great to be able to mess around with it again without the voice in my head telling me off.


I didn't quite achieve the results I was going for with the mirror but still enjoyed going out and taking pictures. It's been nice having time to simply relax and enjoy hobbies. The images are very saturated because I was working on a college assignment about Agnes Varda and her film La Bonhuer. I wanted to draw from her use of saturation to subvert magazine depictions of domestic harmony and create a Utopian depiction of 'isolation'. 


 I've been thinking of making a post on my quarantine routine, it'll be changing next week so I'll be creating another routine. I'll likely talk about the goals I have in mind for the routines and the challenges I face with them. Is this something you'd be interested in reading? Let me know your thoughts in the comments. 

Before you go, tell me about a day in quarantine that stands out to you! I'd love to know how you're spending your days. 

Till Next Time
xxx

If you are a TikTok user or know anyone that is, I'd really appreciate your help with my college research assignment. Its an anonymous survey that takes less than 5 minutes and looks at why people use Tik Tok. You can check it out here! It would really help me out a lot. 

Sunday, 12 April 2020

Time on Our Hands

Dublin, Ireland
It was the sudden queiting of routines. No work, no college, no place to go. It feels as though mother nature has had enough and is deciding to fight back. I hear her laughter in the chirping of birds that mixes into the sounds of children gleefully screaming on my residential cul-de-sac. I see her victory in the frost the frost that covers the grass in the cold mornings, the dust the settles atop every surface right after it has been cleaned and the rust that's beginning it's decay. And I feel her in the changes on my body. A body well fed, well stretched, well rested.

The last time I wrote on the blog, I was looking forward to a summer of travel and discovery which was meant to be starting next month. Now I'm sitting at home thankful to have 2KM allowance to be able to go out and catch fresh air in before disappearing back indoors.


I am very fortunate and extremely grateful for that. I still have a job at a company that can afford to pay us during this time, my family may not be quarantining together but are all safe (and pray they will continue to be so). My housemates and I have a good routine that allows us to make it through quarantine enjoying each other's pleasant company. We truly are the fortunate ones. 

Before the lockdowns my routine revolved around work and college. Now I wake up at 6am everyday so I can go outside for a walk/run without encountering other people. Before the lockdowns my sister was looking forward to her 16th birthday party. This week she bore the sweet 16 badge as I sang to her two meters away because we don't live in the same household. Before the lockdown my mother was on holidays 'visiting' family and now 'staying with family' is more appropriate and luckily so.

It feels inappropriate to forget all the lost lives, lost jobs like my mum's, missed special occasions like the weddings of dear friends and the privileges of movement. The experience of this pandemic continues to open my eyes to the kindness of people. We are a resilient and resourceful species with tantamount capacities for change.

We work better when we act with others in mind be it staying at home or checking in with friends and family to see if they are mentally, emotionally, physically and even financially sound. The many wonderful frontline workers from food producers, to medical staff, governments, scientists, community volunteers to look after the vulnerable, parents etc. A lot of people are doing their very best and if everyone adheres to their social responsibilities, we could start to see the end of the tunnel soon.

 I hold a nervous, hopeful breath for a different kind of normal on the other side of this. I hope after this ends we become a species that looks back on this time with eager minds and hearts to learn and improve our ways of life. Not just for those of us here and now but for the earth and the animals, plants and people to come after us.

***

If you are reading this when it publishes on Easter Sunday, I hope you are having a lovely Easter! May it be much much different next year. 



Till Next Time
xxx

Sunday, 26 January 2020

Onwards Ever Onwards

Dublin, Ireland

Been cruising through life from an early age.

2019 was a strange one. There's been so much change and now we're at the end I feel equal parts appreciation and exhaustion. Last year I pushed myself out of my comfort zone in a way that resembles the slow burn of holding a stretch without brute force. Each push to explore has ignited or fueled a desire or habit I am now more grateful for.

An unexpected influence on how the year has shaped out is the teachings I've come across in college, more specifically notions of representation and media cultivation. The likes of Stuart Hall's Theory of Representation and Herman & Chomsky's Propaganda Model deeply affected my perception of the world. At times pondering these topics, I felt out of sync with the rythm of my immediate society. Now I use it to realign my priorities and fight off doubts or desires not rooted in my own principles. 

The topic of family is one I hold deep emotional wounds and issues around and exploring the concept of family has lessened some of those hurts. Similarly with friendship and perhaps most strikingly for this year, loneliness, as in spending time alone. This is my first year being single in my adulthood and at least in the last 6ish years. It's been a huge change. I've become more aware of how I spend my time, the people and activities I choose to spend it on and generally feel like I am getting to know myself more as a friend than I've ever done. 

Along with the self-exploration, I undertook a few activities that will be highlights for the rest of my life. 

Things I Did This Year

I Went Skydiving



When I was in 4th Year (age 16) I came up with 'Things to Do Before I Die' list which I seemed to lose immediately after penning. Regardless, skydiving was one of those things I put on the list. I didn't actually think I would do it but it was the scariest thing I could think of at the time of writing. 

Doing it however.... was waaayy scarier. There was three seconds of pure terror where my body tried to register the feeling of falling out of a plane 10,000ft, analysing everything that could possibly go wrong. After accepting that were the parachute and backup parachute to fail it would be a great way to go, I was able to enjoy the rest of the free fall and descent. 

Skydiving in Kilkenny Ireland is definitely not on par with skydiving in the likes of Portugal where the scenery is likely to be more beautiful but looking down at the green lush pastures and glimmering quarry still felt as exciting as ever.

I Went to Australia

Trying to get everyone into this picture proved too difficult. But here's a few of those present. 

I have two uncles, an aunt and 10 cousins  living in Australia. Until this year I had never met any of my cousins and hadn't seen my uncles and aunt in more than 17 years. 

Like I said above, family is a strange topic for me so this trip was kind of a big deal. I feel most people find their roots and identities through their families. Growing up in Ghana I spent about 25% of my day in my own home and the rest between the homes of my cousins and friends. Then I came to Ireland and having such widely dispersed family I didn't have the ability to go by my aunt's house after school or meet up with cousins even if it was just at Christmas or for 21st birthday parties like most of my peers. And if I didn't want to have that it probably would've been easier. 

So needless to say, I was really looking forward to this trip. There were strong elements of this trip that made it so spectacular. 

First, my cousin was getting married so naturally there would be a gathering of family for extended periods of time. My grandmother who lives in Ghana was going to be there, my aunt from Canada and an Uncle from England. It was set to the hottest wedding party of the year and boy it was. We arrived of the Thursday, the wedding was on the Sunday and each day in between to the day after the wedding, I was surrounded by family and everyone was in a good mood. I was in Heaven.


The wedding itself was.... indescribable. To use the word in its correct manner. I also got to meet my cousins through marriage and now have a new travel buddy who lives just across the pond in England. 



Throughout our stay, all the cousins really spent time together talking and trying to suss out where our interest, personalities, and opinions etc. lie and align. I personally think I've some pretty dope cousins. It just seems like my family are just great? I mean, maybe it's just me and the joy of being around them was getting to my head. 

This trip was so refreshing to my soul and I felt like there was a part of my identity awakened and reflected by being around all the family. I'll be visiting next year and look forward to forging stronger bonds with them now that we've made first contact.

Pancakes and smiles all round

Redbull Cliff Diving Final

 The legend that is Rhiannon Iffland and the equally awesome Gary Hunt.

Before flying off down under, I had the wonderful opportunity to go watch the Redbull Cliff Diving Final 2019 Series Final in Bilbao, Spain. I caught the competition while they were in Dublin watching across the Dun Laoighre harbour. However, when your travel companions know the athletes, the adventure is elevated 1000%. Not only did I get to meet and share dinner with the athletes I'd been watching and fangirling over for months, but Redbull also throws a wicked closing party which I got to attend.  All I can say is, I am definitely looking forward to celebrating another season with the fabulous athletes. 

Photo Diary



I've been doing a photo diary which I wrote about back in June so you can check that out here. Now that the year is out, I'm so happy with the results that I've decided to continue it into the new year. 

Motorcycle Lessons


This year I did my motorcycle lessons (I technically have like three hours left). Again, like the skydiving, it was something I said I'd do that I wasn't entirely sure myself I'd stick to. I love cycling and generally feel better and more in control on two wheels than four. I like the immediate exposure to my surroundings and the elements. Last year I knew there were activities I'd want to undertake in 2020 that'd take me to opposite sides of Dublin and public transport just won't suffice. As a result, I thought, why not get myself a motorcycle? The plan now is to actually put it to use.

New Job 

Back in April 2019 I quit my job rolling burritos and started waiting tables. The change was not something I enjoyed. I'd come from a very open and loud place to one that felt reserved. The staff demographic between the two jobs are complete opposites of each other. It took me a solid six months to begin to feel somewhat settled. I wanted to quit my first two weeks there. Things did get better and I have to enjoy the job a lot more and the people too.

Leaving my old job, I was exhausted and planned on taking a month's break before properly dedicating myself to looking for a job. However, after interviewing for this current job, I decided it was too good an opportunity to pass on. I can't say I regret that decision but I am definitely learning a lot from it and my time here.  I'm also leaving that job very soon for a travel adventure. Keep reading if you want to know what I am talking about.

Onwards Ever Onwards

Travel

 Bilbao, Spain

Still looking for two more people, a couch and some umbrellas.

Well first on the list is travel. I've booked my flights for about 4 months of travel. It'll be the longest time I've ever travelled and I am equal parts excited and terrified! I took out my first ever loan to buy all the flights as cheap as possible. I plan to have it paid off before I go so I don't have it hanging over me and also build a good credit score. 

In terms of locations, it's fairly diverse. The plan is to go from Dublin to New Zealand, up through Tasmania, Melbourne & Sydney, Jeju Island, South Korea, swing by Tokyo for the Olympics and back to Europe where I'll do a small bit of traveling. I'd love some suggestions for any of these destinations in terms of activities and cheap locations. 

Health



I want to be stronger by the end of this year. I've no purpose for the strength, just a desire I have to improve my bouldering abilities. I'll be targeting my upper body and core strength while upping my contortionist abilities with regular stretching for flexibility.

Relationships


I want to fortify my relationships with my family and friends this year. Fertilise them when time, attention and care.





I haven't set any rigid goals per se but just something to keep in the back of my mind for the year that will hopefully become lifelong benefits. 

This all sounds fine and dandy but let me just balance it out by highlighting that the  Bad Things happened too. We lost family, some friendships were lost or let go, witnessed other people's hardships and wished to be able to change it. But you take the good with the bad and sure it'll all be grand in the end. 

Saying 2020 will be great, as if there's no other time after seems a little short sighted so I'll just say, I'm looking forward to the times to come. And I hope you are too. Also maybe the times will see me posting more on here. 

Till Next Time
xxx



Sunday, 4 August 2019

Easy DIY T-Shirt Flips

Dublin, Ireland


Back in April this year I decided to treat myself to a sewing machine. I don't remember when or where I learned to sew but the act of sewing has been in my life as long as I can remember. Getting clothes tailor made was always an exciting time in my childhood. Birthdays, Easter, Christmas, weddings etc you name it, we were bound to be getting measured, going out with my grandmother to buy materials and waiting a few days to weeks for our outfits to be made. As we grew up we had more of a say in the materials and styles that would be sewn for us. More often than not sewing was a more cost effective way of getting clothing than buying them especially in the rural suburban area we lived in.


     When I moved to Ireland getting clothes tailor made meant multiple phonecalls, Western Union money transfers and waiting weeks for the post. I'd learned to hand sew from seeing it so often and regularly made little repairs to rips and tears over the years.
Back in February I made a list of some activities and hobbies I wanted to take up this year and the month of May I decided to take up sewing. With that I started scouring YouTube for channels I could follow from which I could learn to do some cool things. The first channel I connected with was With Wendy and she remains my number one crafts channel.


      A month ago Wendy tried Letitia Kiu's T-Shirt flip on her channel. This involved getting two shirts and sewing them together. You can check out Wendy's here and Leticia's here. I absolutely loved Wendy's use of a block colour with a graphic tee and really wanted to emulate it. So I tried to get that effect with this these two shirts. I owned one from a race I did back in my athletics days and the other I picked up from a charity shop called Oxfam. I watched Wendy's video and about 10 minutes later, I had two new shirts. 




 Although I am happy with this, I would've preferred it with a block red as I feel the white writing distracts from the clash of the red to the stripped blue and yellow. I'll be keeping an eye out for two block colours that I'll want to merge together again.



      Letitia went a different route and chose two graphic tees to put together. I found these Iron Man and Mario Family tees in a charity shop and knew I wanted to put them together. However, after making the first tee, I found I wasn't that much of a fan of the back of the tee shirt being split into two different colours. Instead I decided to keep one block colour for each shirt. I also initially planned to swap the sleeves on each side too but thought that looked too tacky so went against that.
Instead of simply cutting the two shirts in two, I completely dismembered each and then cut the front in two before sewing them all back up.







I was so delighted with how they turned out I wore one to work that same day! This was such a fun and easy project to do. Time consuming if you're taking the shirts completely apart to create a block back but also very worth it.





 I did a poll on Instagram of which shirt y'all preferred and it seems we all agreed the red sleeves just rock a little bit more.


Can you see yourself doing this fun project? Let me know in the comments!


Till Next Time

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Sunday, 28 July 2019

Give Me Therapy

Dublin, Ireland


Not lyrics of an All Time Low song my 15 year old self liked to sing to. Towards the end of 2016 therapy was a service I really needed. I was feeling out of touch with everything, overanalyzing and doubting everything and everyone and keeping it all to myself. It was a strange time but I was taking it by the day and making it through. I posted something on Twitter that was 28-4-2017. A fellow blogger at the time and reader replied with the suggestion of a psychotherapy and counselling service provider for me to check out. I looked them up, saw they had a branch in my area and I sent an email the same day asking for an appointment.

After that came a little over a year of weekly self discovery and healing with one of the most impactful people in my life yet. I thought I'd share this story today before I move on and share all the other fun things I have been enjoying doing. I started off at a not so bad, not so good place mentally and now I am at a much better place. Before I can go back to fully enjoying life on the blog I feel this needs to be shared first. Along with therapy and my cultural theory classes in college, I was feeling a lot of conflicting emotions that made it hard to sit down and write about travelling or baking sweet goodies without feeling like a liar. After sharing this I hope to be able to move on and share some more about the past few months and what the future holds.




       I received my initial appointment to assess what I needed on June 1st and I believe a week after that I had my first session with my first therapist. I stayed with that therapist for six weeks. When I started college that semester, my schedule changed and I requested a different time. With that came a different therapist and the beginning of a process that would teach me a lot about how I can approach life.

My first therapist and I didn't quite gel. I often felt like he wasn't really listening to what I was saying or didn't have the words to relay his understanding of what I was trying to convey. My second therapist was doing his master's in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy so he hard many nuggets of information and techniques to offer me. Each time I learned something new and put it to the test, challenging as it was sometimes, I always came out the other end with a much better view and attitude. There were many times he'd help lead me to a certain point and encourage me to go the rest of the way on my own. The prime example was during my last session when he advised me that I no longer needed his services. He'd enough confidence that I'd be able to use my new skills to navigate the world even when I didn't feel it myself.

        In my sessions I chose to look through my childhood and adolescent years and tackle the habits and attitudes I'd cultivated and accumulated knowingly and unknowingly that were now in my adult years causing unwanted and unnecessary grief. There was some crying, some laughing and some biblical-like revelations too. I learned a lot in those sessions about my character and my views on life and I also learned new ways of dealing with the things I will encounter in life. I'd love to share all of them with you but seeing as I am not a trained psychologist and everyone deals with issues differently, I will not assume the position of imparting wisdom I cannot help anyone apply correctly. The one thing I will share that has been super useful to me and is hopefully harmless to share is this.





        A lot of anxiety and self doubt for me stems from feeling threatened in some way. Whenever I start to feel like I'm being tossed about in a whirlpool, I take a minute, call on the voice of my therapist and identify the things that are making me feel threatened. Sometimes it's an intellectual threat: what if an action of mine makes someone think I am incompetent? Sometimes it's an emotional threat: I don't like the way this person is treating me and I don't know how to say it. And sometimes it's a threat of a thought or opinion I have that I am shaming myself for and fear someone else will shame me for it. Whatever it is once I can identify them I am able to interrogate the threat and ask myself how I would handle that situation.

It's my most used technique to date and is becoming ingrained in my automatic thought processes for everything. However like I said, I'm no psychotherapist and everyone is different. The issues you may have, the way you deal with them, your perception, attitude etc. are all so unique. Thus it makes sense that it'd take a unique way of learning to navigate them.
In Ireland I know therapy isn't something that is as openly talked about as say in America. However the benefits of learning to understand your own mental landscape and attitudes are immeasurable. If you feel therapy is something you can benefit from but are hesitating... don't. Just do it! (Not sponsored by Nike).


       There are many service providers out there. Find yourself a trusted provider. Don't be afraid to try out different ones till you find someone you gel with. There are also various cost points out there too. If you're in Dublin you can start here with Let's Get Talking. They are in Galway and Dublin.
The service is pay-as-you-can so I never felt too stretched out of my financial situation which at the time wasn't too great as I'd started renting that January.

I finished up my sessions on the 8th of October 2018. I told myself I'd give myself six months and if after six months I was struggling, I'd go back. Within those six months a few major changes, deaths, marriage etc. occurred that I shared in this post here. Some of those things I'm still dealing with now and others I am done with. But April came and went, then June and now July is going out and I don't feel I need to go back because I am still able to count on everything I learned.

Basically going to therapy has been like getting a tool box that is tailor made for you and your life. Milo Murphy's backpack doesn't even come close to it!


Have you used psychotherapy/counselling services? What has been your experience with it? Let me know in the comments!

P.S. You can find the All Time Low song which lends it's title to this post here.

Till Next Time

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